Charge to Nathaniel and Esther

Proverbs 17:1 – Better a dry crust with peace/ than a house full of feasting with strife.

This two-line nugget of wisdom presents four possible situations, listed in descending order of preference:

1. Peace + house full of feasting 
2. Peace + a dry crust
3. House full of feasting + strife
4. A dry crust + strife

What you should aim for is peace in a house full of feasting.  But even if you can’t quite arrive there, what you should absolutely insist on…what you can’t fail to obtain… is a house of peace.

Feasting is a good thing.  It is good to taste a variety of what God has made… and not to night after night sit down at dinner before the same basic, borderline boring meal.  It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, it is the glory of kings to search them out.  It is good to experience not simply what God has set out on the surface but also to taste what he has concealed, yet that the kings of cuisine have searched out… they’ve discovered how to combine God’s ingredients, expose them to some elements, and now what’s on your table is lemon garlic salmon, caramelized shallot pasta, crème brule.  Go for the feasting!

Nathaniel, I don’t know if you know how to cook.  I know that Esther is a good, hovering around great, cook.  But whoever is bringing food to the table, recall that it’s a mark of one who fears the Lord that she is like the merchant ships bringing her food from far away.  Optimally, all your meals are the opposite of gray and boring…and at least some dinners in the Jewel household are carried off with flair and a sprinkling of the exotic… and paper plates nowhere to be found!  

And may what’s true of your meals spill out into other fabulousness: interesting adventures, pursuing colorful interests… The world is charged with the grandeur of God!  Feast on what is to be discovered in the Creator’s universe!

Continuing on this pleasant subject called “a house full of feasting,” doesn’t feasting suggest at least a little gathering of souls?  And yes, something to aspire to is that your home be not simply a place you inhabit and get yourself comfortable, but where you’re also a host.  And hostess.  Esther, the hostess with the mostess. 

May all the blanks in your guest book fill up over the years.  May all kinds of people become familiar with the Jewel dining and living rooms.  May you – within the unique personality that God has fashioned you with – be a friend and conversationalist to many guests.  

And…over time…may the house full of feasting contain more hosts with the last name of Jewel!  Where God is blessing you with kids and you’re blessing the world with kids who have been trained to artfully welcome people into their home.

But…before we get too carried away with feasting goals, let’s return to the non-negotiable: a house full of feasting is a goal to point the Jewel ship toward…but obtaining a house of peace should be your first stop … start heading there about 10 minutes after you kiss your bride.  

Nathaniel and Esther: let us your friends be witness today to a household of peace being founded.  What is the blueprint for a household of peace?

At the risk of an audible collective gasp from these witnesses and seeing a look of dismay cross yourface, I’ll tell you that because your wedding in on the 7^th of March, I’ve got seven biblical directions toward a peaceful household:

1. Live within your means.  Money can be a stone in your shoe – or worse – throughout decades of your marriage…or you can decide now for patient, thoughtful, principled stewardship that will allow for peace.  
2. Work with alacrity…then don’t work.  Alacrity means “a brisk and cheerful readiness.”  Say to yourself: I’m not alive to be entertained, to browse, to laugh at funny videos, to play video games…I’m a worker.  But then 1/7 of your week, rest on purpose.  
3. Don’t burn bridges… especially within your family.  Maintain warm relationships with your in-laws and your siblings and eventually your nephews and nieces.  If your friends let you down, don’t be a pearl clutcher and ban him/her from your life.  Be a philosopher, and think: of course you did that, you’re human.  I’ve done the same thing.  It’s a long life…relationships will ebb and flow over the years.  Stay open and ready to be a friend and renew old friendships.
4. Read history.  Historical fiction is fine.  The Bible is history.  Few things help you to live with evenness and mental composure in the current age – the age that’s always called “crazy” by those who are living it – than exposure to our ancestors, spiritual ancestors and otherwise.  
5. Laugh at the days to come, as the woman in Proverbs 31 does.  Not grimly prepare for, or even be optimistic, but laugh.  Christians who work at their faith see their fears recede, and as fear recedes a lot of humor starts to show itself, even if it’s sometimes dark humor.  Laugh at yourselves, laugh with each other, be joyous around your kids, bring people into your joy.
6. Practice a simple, childlike faith in your heavenly Father.  That old song, “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus.”  God is the One of steadfast love and he will be faithful to you…he’ll keep showing up and meeting needs, even if it’s toward the last minute.  He’ll guide you.  Trust him.  Of course I want you to read broadly, become wildly intelligent not be philistines… but at heart be simple.  Let your reputation be: the Jewels have this unsophisticated, artless, almost naïve trust that their Father in heaven will care for them.
7. On the way toward peace: Keep returning to your roots.  I mean a few things with that: I think at heart Nathaniel and Esther are quiet people who like order and routine.  If that is the case: it’s ok, healthy even, to stay within your personality and serve God within that personality.  No need to put on; be at peace.  Nathaniel, you’re a guy out of Forest Park.  Janice’s grandson – that’s who you are.  Esther, you’re yet another strong woman who loves her man showing up in the generations since Granny.  What I’m saying, it’s good to reflect on your roots and draw some strength, some clarity from that.  You’re both Americans – own that.  You’ve both had wide exposure to the USA – draw strength and clarity from your past.  Be you.  God has brought you through experiences, has saddled you with attributes and limitations – be you.  Own your roots.  

Start talking about the roots of Nathaniel and Esther, and eventually, thank God, you arrive to Jesus Christ.  There’s the root of your roots.  Be at peace: find strength and clarity with him.  Keep his word open at home, keep puzzling over exactly what it means to be ‘in Christ,’ keep looking where he’s pointing, keep going to the places where he is to be found – in the scriptures, among fellow Christians.  Keep mulling over this gospel of Christ, because, after all, that salvation story is your founding story, the story under all and flavoring all your other stories.  As you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to walk in him, being rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing with gratitude.   

Nathaniel and Esther – your family and friends and witnesses to your union wish for you and pray heartily for you a house full of feasting.  But what we’ll insist on and what we’ll keep you accountable to is a house of peace.  God, grant your peace to this man and this woman.  AMEN.