Last week our entire family was in NC with Kai and Libby along with some of Libby’s family – parents, siblings, and grandparents (and uncle). On Saturday evening I happened to be walking alongside Libby’s grandma down a street in Wilmington, and she asked about the church in Somers. Wouldn’t you know, about three sentences into the conversation she brought up two women, Euodia and Syntyche. I replied, you’re not going to believe this, but they’re the focus of my next sermon.
So, let’s turn to Philippians 4: 2, 3 and read:
I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
Can we pause to marvel? Paul wrote this letter in which he once mentions these two women from a prison in Turkey or Rome close to 2000 years ago. And last week in Wilmington NC someone mentions these two women and I immediately beamed with recognition. Oh yes, Euodia and Syntyche – those two good women who were having a squabble. These two women are in our hearts…it’s no exaggeration to say we have an affection for them. That’s an example of what is meant by the somewhat pretentious sounding phrase “the communion of saints.” The Spirit of Jesus Christ has bound our affections to those brothers and sisters who are long dead and who lived far away from us geographically and culturally.
OK: there was obviously a disagreement between Eudodia and Syntyche, though we can’t say what it was about. Was Euodia a no-nonsense theologian scholar whereas Syntyche was one to wax eloquent about the importance of warm feelings between believers? Or Euodia was perpetually late to gatherings while Syntyche thought it was part of just doing things right to be on time and start on time? Euodia had accepted the Roman emperor as a step forward but Syntche longed for the good ol’ days of the Republic? Had Syntche received recognition from the church for the work that Euodia had done… and hadn’t bothered to set the record straight?
Ministry philosophy dispute? Political difference? Something more petty? That fact is buried; we only know that there was a dispute. Which is helpful already, because knowing that fact prepares us for the possibility…no the probability!… that as we work alongside brothers and sisters, disagreement will happen.
Anna Beth and Ben are here today: they were part of the church in Newton MA we served among and I’ve worked closely in gospel partnership with both sets of their parents. Both of their dads – Nick and Shane – were perpetually on the deacon board and I love a lot and value both. Also…in that work of the gospel, we occasionally had strong disagreements. This week I asked Nick for permission to quote from one of my emails to him a few years ago as I reflected on a recent conversation we’d had. Here’s what I had to say to Nick:
My conduct [in that conversation] was not worthy of a pastor, much less a Christian. I’m very sorry.
I’d like to think that I’m normally slower to judge and slower to speak than what I showed today. I’m mad at myself but more importantly, just dang sorry for putting you through that. I hope you’ll forgive me. Please tell me that you do.
Disagreements among faithful gospel workers happen. I find this to be so strong a truism that if it so happens that one has been “churching” for some time without finding himself in some degree of tension with a brother or sister, he’s likely not “churching” correctly. He’s not fully engaged. As I say in the exploring SBC class, come close enough to the church to get annoyed.
As we point out in our Exploring SBC class, the famous “Armor of God” passage in Ephesians in its original context is directed at church life. Paul reminds the church that their strife among each other won’t actually mainly be between each other, but has an overtly spiritual and dark origin: “We wrestle [in the church] not against flesh and blood [though that’s what it’ll seem like] but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
The Satan is particularly interested in directing believers against believers. The once crucified, now risen King is renewing the world through reviving image-bearers and gathering them into the Church. Therefore the powers of darkness try to drive the Church apart because they hate the God who is working out His new creation purposes in the Church. Brothers and sisters, don’t be surprised by tension and disagreement – strong disagreement – in the life of the church. Plan for it, prepare for it. “Put on the whole armor of God.” And don’t sit on the sidelines because you’re too precious for the possibility of controversy.
OK, after reflecting on this verse and recognizing that strife is inevitable among Christian workers, next notice that Paul deals with the strife. I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntche to agree in the Lord. That strong disagreement within the church is a probability doesn’t entail we should just shrug our shoulders and accept it. Conflict between brothers and sisters will happen; conflict needs to be dealt with.
Perhaps in your Christian experience you’ve been in a congregation where there’s long-standing tension you can cut with a knife. Because of laziness or cowardice or mistaken priorities that ongoing dislike and disagreement have never been dealt with. What’s the result? Among that congregation there’s hardly the sense that the Resurrected Christ is ordering the lives and loves of this people, and on His way to thus re-claiming all of creation. Rather, everything seems tense and discombobulated.
NO! This can’t be! Look where Paul goes after directly addressing this disagreement: Rejoice in the Lord…ALWAYS. Again I will say, rejoice. [Church:] Let your reasonableness {sometimes translated gentleness or moderation} be known to everyone. What should be obvious to someone from the outside entering the Church is joy – a sincere and warm and principled optimism – around who our Lord is, what He’s accomplished, where He’s taking us, how He’s taking us there, AND with whom He’s taking us.
And, importantly, out from this TOTAL satisfaction with the Lord Jesus Christ comes moderation: a sanity, a lack of prickliness, restraint, composure. Lack of explosiveness. Healthy atmosphere. Ordered minds. Ordered loves. Order families. Ordered finances. Order all over the place. Let the peace of Christ rule in your midst.
And to repeat: this sense of “chill vibes” and soundness and solidness should be a feature of the culture of the congregation: let your reasonableness be known to everyone.
But back to Euodia and Syntyche: ongoing, undealt with conflict throws a wrench in this distinctive climate of reasonableness, order, calmness. Let bad relationships fester and the atmosphere of gatherings turns awkward; the culture of the church turns sloppy; order goes away and is replaced by the tyranny of drama. Perhaps most importantly, we and any who visit us have a hard time seeing Christ, and that’s no good because Christ is the Vine and Cornerstone and Lead. In fact, when Christians are biting and devouring each other (to use Paul’s phrase), all that calls into question our proclamation that God the Father is setting everything in order and peace under Christ and He’s started with the Church.
So, we’re a people of peace. Called to peace. Working to maintain unity in the bonds of peace.
Now, there’s an aspect to that moderation we just talked about. Restraint. Just because a couple of brothers say some strong words to each other, or one brother is annoyed by another’s particular way of doing things, doesn’t mean we then must enter into a generational feud or drag them before some official church council. Most striving can be handled under Peter’s phrase: Love overlooks a multitude of sin. Living well as a church involves a lot of quietly biting the tongue, little swallowings of pride, giving each other a break, a lot of well it’s an ugly stage he’s going through but I’ve been there….
But sometimes the conflict cuts deeper and it starts to affect the church’s culture and atmosphere and the two sides are entrenched. That needs to be dealt with. As Paul the Apostle models here: leaders will need to insure that these problems are addressed head on.
Let me say it clearly: Conflict within the Church that is ongoing needs to be addressed by leaders.
Finally, let’s be guided by the Spirit and observe how Paul confronts this disagreement.
Notice he doesn’t start his letter addressing the problem, but rather begins with words of praise, words of encouragement, his prayer for the congregation, many words about Christ’s appearing, and many many words about Christ. By the time Paul gets to these women he’s set them into a context of grace – salvation, hope, a humble Lord raised to the highest place.
Take notes, Church! Before any confrontation – with your kids, with your siblings, with your students, with your employees, with brothers and sisters in Christ – take the time and energy to consider them in the Lord. What has Christ already done for them? How has he done it? What is the hope in front of them? Where have they responded well?
Next, notice he addresses them and their conflict publicly, before the Church. Yes, as 1:1 makes clear, this letter is addressed and meant to be read in front of the whole church. The point of raising this interpersonal matter publicly is not to embarrass these two good women and badger them into shoving their issue under the rug and pretend like everyone’s fine. NO! He raises this publicly because an ongoing, entrenched disagreement becomes a cancer within the Church and so a matter of church concern. Ultimately, more important than an individual member saving face is the health of the whole body. Which means a big ingredient to properly joining the church is humility – not the humility of trashing yourself or anything such but the humility of being willing – if it ever comes to it – to set aside your poise and lay open your conduct in relationships for the health of the body of Christ.
Next, even though the conflict is important enough to address publicly, good manners, civility, gentleness prevail. I entreat. Even though Paul could throw his weight around, he prefers (we know from other letters he strongly prefers) the gentle, assume-as-little-authority-as-possible approach. Any good leader or parent should follow his example and nakedly wield authority as seldom as possible.
Next, whatever details he’s heard about this conflict, he’s not taking sides and/ or assuming who’s at fault. Look how carefully he comes in: I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche. Not even I entreat Euodia and Syntyche – that might sound to them like he’s forcing them together. Perhaps that he even lists their name in alphabetical order is a part of his plan to approach their conflict objectively with no priors.
Brothers and sisters, here we can learn from Paul or be reminded of something we already know. Hear both sides of a matter before coming to an opinion. Sounds so simple! Part of the Christian Church’s moderation is that we’re not knee-jerk reactive. We are ssslllloooww to arrive at an opinion, and ssssssllllllloooooowwwweeeeerrrrr to conclude that someone should be censured for misbehavior. We know too much about the number of lies in the world ran by a liar, the fallibility of our thinking, our tendency to be manipulated and prejudiced and biased. We don’t believe anything at first hearing. Even if an angel of heaven comes to us with some awesome message, we’ll say thank you, interesting, let me think that over….
Next, notice that Paul doesn’t try to solve their particular problem. He himself won’t weigh in. He assigns someone closer to the situation, within the Church, to help these women. Even that expression – help these women – is delicate, reserved. Brothers and sisters, let’s remember that old proverb: Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears (Prov 26:17). We don’t want to get involved with other’s squabbles. Even if it becomes our duty we’ll carry it out reluctantly. Once we do get involved, we’re not trying to be heroes or indispensable. We’re just trying to help both sides. But oh, so modestly, so shyly, so reluctantly.
Very interestingly, note that while Paul doesn’t try to solve their particular problem, yet he does give them an appeal. Paul’s appeal is that these ladies agree. Even as they disagree about one thing, they should be sure to agree about many things. This fits with instructions he’s maintained throughout this letter: stand firm in one spirit…be of one mind…strive side by side…having the same love….
Christians are to agree on many things. While there may not be anything wrong and even many things right with being an independent thinker, we’re not told to pursue that. Rather we’re told to pursue agreement with each other. Which means, if Christians do not agree on important matters they are to work toward agreement. We’re not to simply coexist next to each other indifferent about each other’s faith.
To repeat: a church should be striving toward a unity of faith. Of course, part of our unity should be agreeing on what matters are more or less important to agree on. And there are ugly and crass and mistaken ways of going about agreement. Yet we should be going about it.
So, without necessarily being able to come to a consensus on what has separated them, these two sisters are enjoined to agree. What can and should they agree on? And Paul gives three answers, two somewhat subtly.
These two sisters should agree in the Lord. Start with Christ. Wherever they might continue to differ, they can find a place of agreement in the Lord. There’s a lot to Christ, and so despite any squabbles we can share a lot of common ground. Look up from the argument, and see Christ the unifier, a prince of peace, a reconciler, a mediator even between God and man. I love imagining Matthew the former tax collector and Simon the Zealot sitting around the campfire. Why…how can these opposites be in the same square mile without anger constantly spilling over? JESUS.
Jesus our common Creator. Jesus the whole world’s King. Jesus the vine and we the branches. Jesus the Cornerstone and we the building blocks. Otherwise separate objects fit with each other because Jesus is at the center, holding them together. So…what is the best way for a church to be and stay unified? Not mainly with fun, food, and fellowship but by gathering together and hearing the word of Jesus (hey like we’re doing now) and being convinced together about the Kingdom of God which has come in Jesus Christ.
What else can these ladies agree on? Common cause in the work of the gospel. Help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers.
First I imagine a guy named Hank and then I imagine next to Hank a neighbor moves in who annoyingly mows his lawn on Sunday afternoon… when everyone should know that time either as Sabbath or the Lord’s Day or Naptime. After the third straight Sunday of being awakened, a ticked-off Hank walks up his neighbor’s driveway toward his front door. As he passes his truck, however, he notices on the bumper a certain insignia. Now he excitingly knocks on the door – hey dude, we’re you in the 82nd Airborne?…So was I.
30 years later you can find Hank and his neighbor sitting at Dunkin Donuts at 6am every morning. Their service brought them together – the camaraderie in a cause much bigger themselves, much more important than who mows the lawn when, they are brothers-in-arms and know other brothers-in-arms.
The point is that when we study our Savior, and when we look at the big picture of the work of the gospel – interpersonal problems might remain but they grow strangely dim. We’re up against Satan. We’re undertaking the biggest humanitarian project in the history of the world: rescuing image-bearers from the day of wrath. We’re in the line of Abraham and Gideon and Deborah and Athanasius and Dorothy Sayers and CS Lewis and Paul Washer and Sinclair Ferguson. Big stuff happening. Keep that in mind.
And final point of agreement between Euodia and Syntyche that Paul drops into the mix is that book they’re both in. We only have time to mention that.
AMEN
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