“Listen to your heart,” crooned the duo, Roxette. But what did they mean? Well, at the risk of losing brain cells in analyzing the phrase, perhaps what Roxette meant is that there’s a species of truth that lies beyond the borders of language and reasoning. Mere thinking can’t bring you to this truth. Some truths you figure out by thinking them them through, but a few precious Truths are arrived at by feeling your way toward them, that is, by listening to your heart [when he’s calling to you].
This lyric, then, points to another difference in how the Scriptures and moderns understand the heart: moderns see the word as pointing to a understanding that is supra (beyond)-rational, or even irrational. This, in contrast with the reasoning “of the head” which is straightforwardly logical, draws conclusions from evidence, “makes sense” of different data.
Not so the heart. The heart just knows.
So to reiterate: to the modern ear, heart indicates a way of grasping truth that is short on analysis, might even bypass the intellect completely. And let’s add one corollary to this definition: arriving at this kind of heart understanding – the kind not fussy about facts and logic – is a mark of deep authenticity. Maybe even of true spirituality.
As I’ve indicated above, however, the Scriptures don’t use heart this way, that is, to describe a way of understanding that is beyond reason. Which means that if we assume the modern understanding of heart, we’ll end up misinterpreting passages. One example: At the end of the passage (Matthew 18: 23-35) Ben preached from a few weeks ago, Jesus cautioned that, in our forgiving people, we’re to be sure to forgive your brother from your heart.
What did Jesus mean by forgiving people from the heart?
Well, generally speaking, what he meant is what it sounds like he meant: that we should be sincere in our forgiveness. We’re not to offer forgiveness superficially, with empty gestures and empty words covering over resentment that remains at our core. For example, coldly offering a handshake as we mouth “No problem… yeah everything’s cool.” Or, for the sake of plausible deniability, employing frosty formulas: “I forgive you”… yet with teeth still clenched.
You’ve seen this kind of fake forgiveness…you might even have extended it. Correct gestures and words, and yet our heart isn’t in it.
Ah, ok…but we’re back to square one. What exactly does that mean? What makes the difference between sincerity and insincerity? What is missing from our gestures and words that render them “empty”?
The answer isn’t feelings. Neither strength of feelings.
The answer is… thoughts! Yes, thinking is what turns our forgiveness from insincere to sincere! To forgive from the heart, then, doesn’t require more feelings or stronger feelings… but reasons. Saying that negatively, an insincere forgiveness is one that lacks reasons; it doesn’t see why forgiveness is appropriate.
Let me give an example. One time someone told me that she bitterly resented her adult daughter; in fact, their relationship was hanging by a thread. Her resentment arose from the fact that her daughter never made time for her because her own two kids (this lady’s grandchildren) utterly consumed her energy. “My daughter has two kids so she can’t find time to visit me and her father – pshaw! What she doesn’t realize is that when I was her age I already had four children, I ran a business out of my house, and I still found plenty of time to visit my parents… a lot.”
Now, the Lord Jesus demands that this woman forgive her daughter. And that she do this ‘from the heart,’ that is, sincerely. But how could she arrive to that heart forgiveness? Well, not by committing to strong or gushy or strong and gushy feelings. And not through bypassing her reasoning… but rather by hunting down various grounds for forgiveness. Only once she’s equipped with solid, intelligent reasons to forgive will she be able to sincerely forgive, that is, forgive from the heart.
So, how to forgive from the heart? Or, asking that question with other words: what are reasons to forgive people? The Bible offers MANY general reasons that could be fine-tuned to any specific situation. Here are just four you can use in counseling yourself and others toward forgiveness:
1. Matthew 18: 21-35 – The biggest reason we’re given to forgive – and it’s a 360 degree slam dunk – is that the Father has forgiven us our huge debt on the basis of the bloody death of Jesus Christ. (Remember, that’s the immediate point of the parable attached to the command to forgive from the heart.) Forgive from the heart by remembering (a type of reasoning!) that you’ve been forgiven A LOT.
2. Ecclesiastes 7: 21,22 – Another reason to aid you in forgiveness: You’re no perfect exemplar yourself! You’re able from the heart to forgive others their rascality because you perceive there’s plenty of it in you.
3. Ephesians 4: 30 – Consider this, says St Paul: A posture of un-forgiveness grieves the Holy Spirit and is directly opposed to the goal of His redemption.
4. 1 Corinthians 4:1-5 – To help you toward forgiveness from the heart, also just consider your limitations. In all ultimate evaluations of other people (which evaluations un-forgiveness often rely on), we are handicapped by a lack of data. We don’t come close to fully understanding the situations and characters of the people who have hurt us. So why hold on to bitterness against people we don’t hardly understand?
Conclusion: The heart doesn’t need mood lighting and soft music to activate it. The heart needs reasons upon which to build a case. When you come across heart in Scripture, don’t think of that which is opposed to “the head” or “mind.” (We’re never forced to choose between a) addressing the heart and b) being smart.) Rather, remember that the most direct path to the heart of a person, to sincerity, isn’t fashioned by feelings. But…REASONS!
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