Of whom their father isn’t worthy

I have an occasional journal. I wrote this in September, six days after I was let go from my job:

To Office Depot on Sunday

Tess and Liesel accompanied.  We were in search of tall kitchen trash bags and labels for my daytimer dividers.  First we found the labels and then found the bags.  For some reason there was a large divergence of price between two bags that were exactly the same apart from their fragrance.  I carried the stuff toward the register, Tess and Liesel in tow.  

On the way to the register I inexplicably stopped and turned to look at them.  To look into their eyes.  Tess is 15, Liesel is 9.  

That week we had been sick – Tess of corona; Tonia probably with corona; Liesel maybe of corona; me likely something more psychosomatic.  

We are living in a rental house and haven’t kept up with the cleaning.  Eight days ago we cancelled the purchase of a house.  We don’t know where we are going to live now. Don’t know whether to pack.  I don’t have a job.  

After having been excited about being in a “real school,” and experiencing that for two weeks, we pulled out T&L and now they’re back to homeschool.  

Their dad had been terminated from his job 1.5 weeks ago.  All their life they had been the daughters of a father who was the leader – of a church and then of a school.  Now they follow a discouraged, (to a degree) infamous, directionless man. 

As I said, I turned and looked them in the eyes.  They still loved me.  In a way adored me.  Were happy to be out on an errand to the Office Depot where they would get nothing.

In the troubles of life these girls cast a radiance.  I don’t at all deserve them.  

Leave a Reply

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: